cliché but god, love is my addiction
<<2003-03-02 - 9:08 p.m.>>

Kay so Friday night I um... I forgot what I did. Wait no I went to the quiz night with David and Bev and my parents... we were second, damn team that won beat us by a long way but we beat the third team by a long way so we can still kick ass. In a contrived, self-congratulatory sort of way.

Saturday I got up and Mark was at work. We were talking and stuff which was nice, despite the big huge wall of tension that occasionally rears it's ugly head whenever he mentions things like his ex (who thought we were carrying on behind her back, rather oddly) or I mention Rob. He's got a new girlfriend... a little blonde skinny thing apparently called Eleanor. Very pawsh. He offered me a life home with one of his strange mates and I declined.

Then I went to Sarah's and we went up to the pub. It was a great night since that really cool band played and there was this big UV light so everyone's underwear glowed, lol. I wasn't wearing a bra under my top so I was okay (what, it was sleeveless!)We were talking about all manner of things which I won't repeat, aswe do when drunk. We're gonna go on holiday for a week to Spain in the summer, yay! I figured I could convince her to come with me to my favourite place but it turns out she needed no convincing at all. We might go for a cheesy Blackpool weekend sometime and we're also gonna go to a concert this year. It's also the first time I've discussed my sex life with anyone. Hmm. Yeah, I need to work on that. Not that! But that. Yeah.

So then we came back and watched this Indie movie, Buffalo '66, and ate pizzas from Didi's. I was so drunk on Vodka, it wasn't even funny. And then at 5am Sarah was snoring and woke me up so I hit her on the arm and went "Nyhurghawr!" which did the trick since she stopped snoring and sighed happily. I, my friends, am a genius.

I also realised why I've been a bit uncertain about me and Rob lately. It's cause of my family situation! How obvious! It's nothing to do with him, it's just me feeling generally unstable and not knowing the cause. All this time I've been contemplating... well I don't know what I was contemplating but I can forget it. I really, really need him, not in a clingy way but in a weird, deep, in-my-bones way. Something pushed us together, I know it. Fate or something.

So yeah... my dad admitted that he has a problem, my mum talked to me and we're finally listening to each other and not pretending nothing was ever wrong. They finally listened to me and acknowledged that this whole thing, with them, is a problem for me and not just them. So fingers crossed that things will work out and he'll find a new job.

How do you react when your own mother tells you that there have been days lately when all she wants to do is lay down and die?

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