had enough of stuff and now it's time to think about me
<<2003-03-04 - 11:13 a.m.>>

First I had a conversation with Sy for hours and hours (well, over 2) on Sunday night about stuff and it wasn't what he said but I ended up upsetting myself. I don't know, maybe he just knows how to press my buttons but he was trying to be helpful I guess so I don't hold a grudge. Nobody else quite knows how to address my insecurities. Hm.

Yesterday was a Monday. Meh. I hate those. I went to college, as per, and it was a pretty average day. Laura was sitting with me on a bench for a while talking about how her mum continuously lets her down and has done all her life... I didn't know what to say. My parents have never let me down, although we have our problems they've centred their lives around me for almost 19 years now. Which perhaps is why there are so many problems now I'm going to be leaving.

Speaking of leaving, I sent in my reply to UCAS to tell them that I firmly accept Durham and as my Insurance choice I have Newcastle. It's in effect a contract so it looks like I'm going. How... scary. I pretty much am scared to death... I had a Spanish mock exam this morning and it was close to impossible and most of the marks hinge on that exam... God, if I get a C, my life is effectively over and I will have no place to go.

No pressure, right.

Laus is travelling up to Aberdeen alone as we speak. For the record that is a journey of around 10 hours and she will be there for 3 days alone. I know all about doing the University open day thing alone and I I hope to God she likes it up there because if not her future could be very uncertain.

It's break right now. In Laura's absence I have nobody I feel I wish to talk to and so I'm here, updating and pretending to use college electricity constructively. I am now a pro.

There's a ton of other stuff I wanted to say but I guess it can wait until I'm home, in my nice comfy house.

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