My Daze is Special
new - older - profile - rings - cast - guestbook - host

This is the way forward...
<<2003-04-19 - 7:40 p.m.>>

One thing I really wish I could do... write songs. Really good songs that people listen to over and over in many different moods and keep finding new things in them. That would be my biggest wish but I don't tell people that because it doesn't sit well with my goody-two-shoes sensible image. There's the whole writing thing which I've abandoned since I met Rob, due to time constraints I guess but also because... I don't know how to make things end any more because I've lost the concept of a happy ending. Perhaps it's because my own happy ending is yet to come. Or not, as the case may be in some post-modern apocalyptic opus littered with characters with polysyllabic names, flowered speech and limited mortality.

I used to write beautiful. I did. It used to just come out, in the middle of the night, and I thought yeah! I've found my vocation. But day-to-day grind stamped the spontaneity out of me and I'm lucky if I get time to even read a book, let alone write one.

But I will. I'll do it. And then I'll write another and another and eventually go live in a beach house with every single god damn thing I could possibly want on the pretext of writing but actually sitting on my fat ass.

Tpday was weird. Weird. I was talking to Mark about psychology and the universe and things and then he was telling me he thinks his girlfriend (who I semi-met yesterday, incidentally) seems to think he only thinks inside the box... and then he looked at me weird. Cause I don't think that, you see, and she judges him and she's supposed to love him and I don't judge him but I'm just his work colleague. Maybe something hit him (i.e. the notion that he has bad taste in women) and he might sort himself out a bit. Find a decent, non-illegal-age, non-psycho girlfriend who doesn't go insane cause she sees a photo of me at work on his phone (which Joe took, not Mark, anyway).

Whatever, it's up to him. It's like Dawn... she's making a mess of her lovelife, and I was doing that also last week... maybe it's a Stationery Box thing.

Had a couple more e-mails from NYC, the collection of Big Red chewing gum is growing and will soon be winging it's way back to me! I so can't wait.

Oh and I got an e-mail about some new Dashboard stuff... I so, so so so want this t-shirt right here and I know it's only $15 dollars but I'm in England and they kill you for about $30 postage! Plus I have no credit card. So it shall remain out of reach, for now.

Right, finally I have a day off tomorrow, as yet open and unmarred by plans. I shall go and start to enjoy just sitting and doing absolutely fuck-all.

<< - >>
linsay designs